When I first met my husband, he was relieved to find out we were on the same page about our respective faiths. He had been looking for a while and didn't know how to find a Christian wife.
Fortunately, we’re not the only couple of faith in our friend group. We know other couples who have met at our church, some who met at a church event, or who locked eyes in the fellowship hall on Easter and never looked back. We also know Christian couples who met online.
Online dating can seem intimidating, but it’s easier than ever to find someone who aligns with your faith with new tools available to online daters. Finding a Christian wife, just like staying secure in your Christian faith, takes work, dedication, and risk.
If you’re ready to take the plunge, try some of these tips on how to find a godly wife.
How to Find a Godly Wife in Your Community
While it may sound obvious, finding a Christian wife in your community is not as easy as it sounds. It’ll require stepping out of your comfort zone, exploring new events, and meeting new people.
While not everyone you meet will be marriage material, the most that can happen is that you strengthen the godly relationships around you. Remember that every new friend made is another person to support you during the dating process.
Attend Church Regularly
If you’re the type to skip a few Sundays here and there, shake the habit. The only way to meet new people—eligible bachelorettes included—is to put yourself out there.
If you get into the habit of attending Sunday service every week, you’ll accomplish two things:
Even if you don’t meet the woman God made for you by attending services every week, regular attendance will help you grow in your faith and establish new relationships with the godly people around you. Whether or not you find a bride, you will still benefit.
Join a Small Group
Lots of churches have small groups specifically geared toward singles or specific age groups. If your church has a group like this, join it! Just like attending church regularly, it’ll lead to better relationships with church members and help grow your faith.
Despite singles groups being an excellent place to meet other eligible Christians, don’t treat the group like a speed dating opportunity. Coming on too strong or acting like you’re only there to access the dating pool is a surefire way to scare off any potential suitors.
When new members join the small group, you can become the welcoming committee. Get to know the new faces in the room and become the person everyone wants to get to know. When a stranger enters the group for the first time, they bring their social circle with them, which can widen your pool.
Use small groups as an opportunity to meet new people, get to know the people you’ve been attending church with, and broaden your social circle. Finding your perfect match is all about who you know—if you widen your social web, you have a higher likelihood of finding that special someone.
Start a Small Group
Start one if your church doesn’t have a small group of singles or people in your age bracket! Small groups come in a variety of shapes and sizes and have different purposes. Some include:
While these are just some general types of small groups, create a group that works for you and the Christians who join. Ask your pastor to help out, and seek their counsel throughout the small group’s progress.
By starting a small group, you reap the group benefits discussed above. You also make it clear to any eligible bachelorettes in the church that you’re capable of servant leadership, a compelling quality in a potential spouse.
Volunteer With the Youth Group
Volunteering with your church’s youth group is an excellent way to widen your Christian social circle. You’ll likely join a team of existing adult leaders and volunteers, some of whom could be marriage material.
You’ll also meet the parents of the youth attendees. The parents could be single, but they probably also know other people looking for love, both inside and outside your church. Get to know the parents and leaders at the youth group, and take advantage of their contact lists.
Attend Church Events
Are you thinking of skipping your church’s fall festival to stay home and watch football? You’ll miss out on an opportunity to meet new people!
By now, you’ve discovered the throughline of how to find a godly wife: meet people. Attending church events offers a chance to engage with infrequent church attendees or people who don’t belong to your church.
Pro tip: Consider volunteering for a ticketing or check-in table at a church event. You’ll see everyone coming into the event, and someone may just catch your eye.
How to Find a Godly Wife Online
Lots of Christians have reservations about online dating. If you’re on the fence about using an online dating site, consult with your spiritual mentor, your pastor, or a trusted member of your church. They’ll likely give you the guidance you need to take the plunge.
If you choose to try online dating, don’t let it overtake your spiritual practice. Online dating can be addicting, but don’t let it take up time that you usually spend worshipping. Most importantly, pray throughout the process, and ask God for guidance along the way.
Sometimes online dating seems like the antithesis of godly living. While that can be true, online dating sites like eHarmony now allow users to filter potential matches based on their religious affiliations.
On the subject of eHarmony, the site offers nuanced settings for identifying your own religious beliefs and for specifying what faith or denomination you’d prefer your matches to be. It’s a powerful sorting tool.
While you may be tempted to narrow your search as much as possible to find someone who shares your same beliefs, don’t limit yourself. Faith is complex, and it’s challenging to put your faith into a specific category. Potential matches will feel this way, too.
Consider self-identifying as simply “Christian” and leaving the preferred denomination settings empty. While you may think it’s unlikely that you could connect with someone outside of your denomination, you’d be surprised. Come to the process with an open mind and an open heart.
While there are other dating sites, eHarmony is one of the most popular and has an enormous pool of matches. It was founded upon Christian values. Neil Clark Warren, one of the founders of eHarmony, is an American theologian and seminary professor.
If you’ve never used a dating site before, eHarmony is a great place to start. If you come to online dating willing to learn about yourself and find a Christian wife, the experience will likely meet or exceed your expectations.
You can also try a Christian-specific dating site like ChristianMingle. This site allows you to match with Christians who share your beliefs.
Here are some of the benefits of trying out ChristianMingle:
Overall, ChristianMingle is a fantastic option for finding your faithful and godly wife.
Other Online Options
There are plenty of online sites that offer Christian dating with the intention of marriage. You can find my list of best Christian dating sites here: https://lovenet-jp.com/best-christian-dating-sites/
Use an online dating site like eHarmony or ChristianMingle to find eligible Christians. Their powerful filtering tools will help you find your perfect, godly match.
Be patient. Trust the process. Trust God to deliver your soulmate when you need her most.
While the tips above will help increase your odds, pray and reflect upon the matchmaking process to keep your priorities aligned. When your match is ready for you, you’ll find her.