How to Get a MILF – The Ultimate Guide

By: Michele Baird
Updated: July 16, 2021

One of the most beautiful things about the 21st century is this new concept of freedom of attraction. What does this mean for you? It means you’re free to hit on, bang, or even date a hot older woman. What does it mean for us? We get to teach you how to get a MILF. 

Getting down with a MILF requires a completely different strategy than hooking up with younger women. MILFs are usually women in their thirties, forties, and fifties. They aren’t doe-eyed fawns anymore; they’re more mature and understand how the world works. 

This maturity is both a blessing and a curse. A blessing because it means they won’t be as crazy, temperamental, and ignorant as some younger girls. A curse because they know what you want and can, more often than not, see right through you. 

On the journey to getting a MILF, you’re going to need a little help. Luckily for you, we’ve dug up five tried-and-tested steps to make sure that you win the lady’s heart. Or at least get in her pants.

Step #1: Find A MILF

Knowing where to find women who are looking for casual sex is different from knowing where to find MILFs. Most MILFs are mothers or working women or both. So, finding one in a bar or a club isn’t going to be easy. 

We're not saying that you can't find older women in bars or clubs. It's just that a lot of them are looking for validation through male attention rather than actual sex. Plus, you want to have a big pool to choose from. Most MILFs left their bar-hopping days in their twenties.

So, if you’re looking for a MILF, you need to get up and start preparing to head out during the day. Here are some places where you’re more likely to find MILFs. 

In Middle or Upper-Class Neighborhoods

As we said before, most MILFs are working women or mothers or both. This means that they'll probably be paying their mortgages or rent. A typical day in a middle or upper-class neighborhood will see MILFs jogging in the morning, visiting the park with their kids, hanging out outside with their friends (who are probably also MILFs), walking their dogs, etc. 

Meeting MILFs in this way can work well. You can start by approaching them with something simple like asking for directions, and then following up the conversation with a seemingly casual compliment.

Or if she’s with her child, you can compliment the child while alluding to her. Using questions after compliments like “he sure has a lot of energy, how do you keep up?” is also a great way to get the conversation started and keep it going. 

However, this requires a delicate balance. Try to compliment her kid without being a creeper. If you can’t, try the question/ compliment method. 

High-End Malls or Shopping Centers

This requires a little bit of luck and timing. Weekends are a great time to “bump into” MILFs at malls because they’re usually busy shopping.

 Here, you can use the excuse of needing to purchase a gift for your older sister, mother, aunt, or cousin, and needing the help of a beautiful lady such as herself. Remember to add the compliment. It’s the most important part.

Dating Sites

You can also find MILFs on dating sites. Currently, the best site for younger guys looking to find a MILF is eHarmony. eHarmony is a dating site that has over 30 million members. 

The great thing about them is that a lot of their users are older women who want to meet guys and are ready to take the initiative to do so. Their sign-up process is very easy, and you can get whatever you want, be it a night of casual sex or a relationship. 

There’s also a trial offer available, so you can check it out and dip if you don’t like what you see. 

Some other physical places you can find MILFs are:

  • Health Food Stores
  • Bars (on Ladies Night)

Step #2: Find Out What She Wants

This is a step that's often neglected but is important. You need to find out if all she wants is some hot, monkey sex or an actual relationship. Not getting this vital information means that the two of you have a serious communication gap.

And it could spell trouble if you just want to do the nasty and get gone, and she expects you to be there in the morning. All of a sudden, you’ve become an asshole. 

The main question here is whether your needs align. Do you want what she wants? If you don’t, then it’s best to back out quickly. Otherwise, the morning after might be particularly gruesome. 

Most MILFs have a lot more life experience and are more knowledgeable than younger women. They’re more likely to know exactly what they want and won’t be interested in playing games. Plus, it’s a huge turn-on for them if a guy is direct with his expectations, especially if they’re in alignment. 

So, be direct. After hitting it off and talking for a bit, slip the question into the conversation. An example would be, “So, now that the kids are here, are you thinking of entering a new relationship? Or do you want something more casual?”

Another reason why this is a good idea is that her reaction and response will give you a clear signal as to whether to proceed with the relationship or stop. 

Also Read: Dating a MILF? Know These 8 Tips

Step #3: Approach with Confidence

If you’re not a particularly confident guy, you’ll need to fake it here. I mean, sure, MILFs might think awkward shyness is cute but they definitely won’t want it in their bedrooms. 

Older women are typically more comfortable in their skin. They aren't easily rattled and they don’t want a jitterbug for a lover, younger man or not.

Straighten your spine, walk tall, maintain eye contact, stay relaxed. You should also try and initiate casual contact. The keyword here is casual, we aren’t telling you to grab her.

Try an accidental finger brush on the table, bumping of legs underneath the table, those kinds of touches. Also, remember to put on that seductive smile. 

Step #4: Make Conversation

In general, MILFs are more educated and knowledgeable. They’re usually older so they have more life experience, have traveled more, and have had more relationships. 

This means that when you strike up a conversation with an older lady, you aren’t going to be able to laugh off some topics. She isn’t going to want to make small talk. She’ll want to discuss deeper subjects. For example, social issues, books, culture, spirituality, and maybe even, business trends. 

This is an important point because to older, attractive, and successful women, sex is great but common. What's uncommon is having a man that can hold intelligent conversations. That's a turn-on in itself.

So you’ll need to stimulate her mind before you can even get close to her body. You can start the conversation with a compliment and some small talk but be on the lookout for some points that she might exaggerate. 

That way, you can ask her follow-up questions, add your own opinions and keep the conversation going. As you continue to talk, you two will be able to build a rapport. Hopefully, you can make her acknowledge you as an intellectual equal.

However, there is one pit that you need to avoid when conversing. Those are her kids.

There is no sane woman that doesn’t love her children dearly. It also follows that they are her bottom line. Before we go on, let us make one thing abundantly clear: 

Never, ever insult, dismiss or disregard a MILF's children, whether during a conversation or in person. Also, never say or even imply that you're more important than her kids. Always keep in mind that her kids come first even in your relationship.

If a woman talks about her child(ren) with you, be ready to listen. Women with kids love to talk about their children. They might even want to share some of their favorite family moments with you through pictures. 

Be ready to listen, make appropriate responses, and show interest. This is showing regard and care for the fact that she's a mother by listening to her. 

This is also a way to endear yourself to her. Often, showing interest in her kids and concern is more heart-warming than a thousand compliments. 

Step #5: Turn Her On

Like younger women, MILFs need to be seduced. So after conversing and building a rapport, you’ll need to turn up the charm. And if your goal is sex, you’ll need to pay special attention to this step. 

MILFs don’t need to be showered with cliché praise. Your standard compliment, “You’re so sexy,” isn’t going to do anything but have her rolling her eyes. You’ll need to dig a little deeper and come up with some subtle phrases.

The big issue with complimenting older women is that they've heard it all before. So most normal compliments and pick-up lines won't work and the cheesy ones will just come across as irritating and insincere. 

The best way to make sure that your compliment makes it past her walls is to be sincere. Trust us, nothing is sexier to an older woman than honesty. At this point, they’re pretty clear about people’s motives and a good, strong dose of sincerity is enough to shake them up. 

To achieve this, compliment her on something unique. If she’s made it known through her body language or conversation that she’s insecure about a certain body part, for example, her legs, genuinely compliment them. 

Unless you can’t be genuine about them. This is where the old saying, “If you don't have anything nice to say, don't speak," applies. If your compliment isn't genuine, don't comment at all. If she realizes you're faking, she'll think you're a liar and all the efforts you've made till then might be lost.

You can also try and compliment her personality, her intelligence, her perspective on issues, her dress, basically anything that isn’t a generic observation of her looks. Most attractive women have been had their looks complimented since they were young. It gets old. 

So, compliment her sincerely and genuinely while maintaining eye contact for maximum impact. You can also deepen your voice and flirt through your body language before taking a metaphorical step back and going back to your normal conversation. 

This will increase the sexual tension and make your intentions known but prevent the situation from becoming uncomfortable. After all, the stage isn’t set yet. 

Step #6: Fend Of Her Age Argument

“But I’m so much older than you!”

See that comment above? That is a sure sign that you’re making progress in your pursuit. No woman will say this or any variation of this unless she’s genuinely interested in you. 

These objections are just a last-ditch effort to warn both you and herself that these kinds of age gap relationships are usually regarded as a small taboo. She might be feeling a little guilty and embarrassed because she’s interested in you. 

These feelings might be especially strong if she's very successful, religious, or in a public position. It might be uncomfortable good her to admit that she does want to go out, have sex and be in a relationship with a younger man. 

So you’re responsible for soothing those fears with some confident replies. You have to let her know that you won’t be swayed by public opinion, especially if both of you want a relationship. 

You could say something like:

“So what? I still think you’re beautiful and there’s nothing wrong with that.”

Or break the ice and diffuse her fears with a little humor:

“I don’t think you’re mature enough for me though. You might be ten years too young.”

Step #7: Ask Her Out

At this point, you should've already developed enough of a rapport to ask her out naturally. And you don't need to do anything too fancy if you're taking her out on a date. Asking her to get a drink with you should be fine. 

If you’re taking her on a date, try to avoid overused ideas like dinner or going to the movies. Try going to a cooking class, or a wine tasting. If she's into history, you also take her to an antique shop or visit some historical spots around your town (this can be pretty fun).

You don’t have to plan anything too difficult because you’re still getting to know each other. Just go with the flow and then, at the end of the day, invite her to your place. Your place, because if she has kids, you do not want them to catch both of you buck naked.

Now that you know how to get a MILF, we’re going to give you some extra education on what NOT to do when chasing one. 

4 Mistakes You Shouldn’t Make When Picking Up a MILF 

1. Don’t Mention Her Age Unless She Brings It Up First

We have to bring this up because this isn't as obvious as many women believe it is. Here's the point: Never bring up a woman's age or the fact that you think she's a MILF when chasing her.

This is a huge no-no because there's absolutely no woman that wants to be reminded of the fact that in the eyes of society, she's no longer young. Bringing up the fact that she's a MILF to you just serves to emphasize that point. So no, she isn't going to sleep with you.

2. Don’t Play Hard-to-Get

Want to play games? Then you can play by yourself because no MILF will want to play with you. Like we said before, these women have outgrown all that. They have work to do and kids to raise, they don’t have time to chase after you. 

If you want her, you’re going to have to go get her yourself. And you can leave your games at home.

3. Don’t Be Cheesy In the Beginning

Some pickup lines may sound awesome in your head but come out dripping with cheese. There's no need to spout some drivel about how she’s the only ten-you-see; it’ll only make her irritated. 

Just approach normally. Start with a comment about something normal, like the area, her drink, her dress, whatever, and go from there. If you want to add on some cheese, do it when you’re more familiar with each other.

4. Don’t Bring Your Drama or Your Ego

Most MILFs don’t have the time or energy to massage egos or put up with immaturity. You're late, she's out. You're bragging, she’s out. You’re being obnoxious, she’s out. These women already have enough kids, they don’t need another man-child.

Conclusion

When it comes to experience, both in and out of the bedroom, MILFs are the perfect choice. They're wiser, more knowledgeable, and are typically more adventurous than the average twenty-something. They recognize what they want and go for it. 

Take our advice and maybe you just might be what a MILF wants.