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How To Make A Long-Distance Relationship Work

Last updated on January 15, 2021

How to Make a Long Distance Relationship Work

As someone who has been in a long-distance relationship, I understand that such an arrangement can be challenging. Heck, some people think that long-distance relationships are a fool's errand that is preordained to fail. I will not lie to you, a long-distance relationship may be challenging, but it can also be just as rewarding for both parties involved. After all, the additional factor of distance means that the simplest of traditional romantic acts carries extra pull; arranging things so that you physically sense your partner: hear their voice, smell their perfume, touch their skin, etc.; every so often are vastly more treasured in a long-distance relationship.

As a favor to anyone who has followed my footsteps and pursued a long-distance relationship, I present a bunch of tips and tricks to keep the passion alive. Even a normal relationship can die out after the passion dies.

1. On Communication: Less Is More

You do not want to appear as clingy. There is no reason to spend half of every day in constant correspondence with your partner, even if you think that you need to make up for the physical distance by talking more. I figured this out after agreeing to only speak with my then-boyfriend only every third day and during major life events like getting a new job. 

Remember, if you are constantly spamming each other with communication, you are only contributing to a background noise of daily life; this will only diminish your affection for each other and possibly even result in a loss in eagerness to reply.

Also Read: 10 Ultimate Christian Dating Advice 

2. Treat The Distance As An Opportunity

I think a healthy way of approach is to treat the distance as a chance to test a relationship. If you and the other person are truly suited for each other, your connection will grow even stronger once you can get together for good.

3. Work On Your Pillow Talk

Sexual desire is one of the most vital things in a relationship and helps partners remain partners. After all, sex fills both a biological and emotional need. Keep the engine going by sending texts laden with lurid descriptions, double entendres, and even puns.

4. Avoid Risky Situations

If you know that your partner would think poorly of you for heading to a club or drinking out with the guys in the early morning, you can either abstain from the action or reassure your partner before you head out. You need to understand that these sorts of activities are only going to exacerbate the worry and suspicion your partner may hold, especially when they are effectively powerless.

5. Do Stuff Together

This modern world has revealed just how many options are available to people unable to get together in person. My partner and I both love MMORPGs, so we both made level 1 characters in "Final Fantasy XIV" and have since even worked on building a virtual home. You can also do things like watch films at the same time, even putting each other on a voice call to share each other's thoughts on the movie in real-time. Because my partner is an accomplished pianist, I came up with the idea of having him play while I do my best to sing. The trick is to be creative and spontaneous.

6. Do Similar Activities

Suggest media to each other. By consuming the same sort of content, each of you can discuss your thoughts and feelings about that content with the other person. It also helps to have something fresh and new to chat about. I find that this is a great way of cementing some shared experiences as a couple, even if you might not be able to pursue it at the exact same time as your partner.

7. Make Sure To Visit

The visits are the best aspects of a long-distance relationship because it finally removes the biggest barrier to intimacy with one. Try not to load your visit with lots of activities, and remember to set some time aside for just being in each other's physical space. The occasional trips to my partner's neck of the country are some of my fondest memories during our courtship.

8. You Need A Goal And Make It Known

One of the things that kept my relationship going was having the motivation and letting him know that motivation.

  • "How long are we planning to be apart?"
  • "What do you see our future looking like?

These are some of the questions we would discuss. No long-distance relationship lasts forever, and you need to figure out when you will be closing the distance. Plan out a timeline, figuring out how long you will be separated and when you can get reprieves for some real-time together.

Not only will you remove anxiety about your future together by asking these questions, but you will also have a better idea of how each of you feels about your given answers. 

9. Remember You Are More Than Their Partner

Just because you are away from your partner does not mean you need to be alone. Remember that you are more than enough company for yourself and that you have plenty of friends and even family to spend quality time with. I cannot count how many times my buddies were a welcome relief during those times when my partner was indisposed, and I was craving some socialization.

10. Remain Honest

Do not hide all of your negative thoughts like what scares you or makes you jealous. Your partner is your ultimate confidant, and hiding anything from them is only going to damage the relationship in the long term. Do not interpret sharing your problems as burdening your partner with them; this sort of thinking precludes a fear of rejection. Ultimately, your partner will either stay with you or leave you for airing your problems, and any partner who takes the latter path is not worth your time to begin with.

11. Each Party Should Know The Other's Routine

I made sure to never message my partner between the hours of 2 to 5 p.m. on weekdays because those were hours he had dedicated to his job. Everyone has a schedule, and it is important to respect the hours that your partner cannot dedicate to you. Understand that your partner's life is more than just the time you share with him, especially if you happen to live in different time zones.

12. Use Social Media To Stay Current With Each Other

Like, comment, and share on each other's feeds.

13. Gift Personal Effects To Connect Each Other

Mementos are powerful things. Whether you give someone a piece of jewelry or even some little trinket, these objects serve as valuable reminders of special events and people. 

14. Get A Good Messaging Program

If you are going to tether your relationship to communication, it may as well be with a good program for that service. While I am partial to using Discord, LINE and Skype are also viable options.

15. Snail-Mail Your Gifts

While packages are always welcome, remember that love letters and postcards are just as good for showing someone you keep him/her in your thoughts.

16. Be Positive

You need to regularly hype each other up when you chat. While it can be torture to wait for the next conversation, you need to be mindful that the end goal will be all the sweeter for your patience. Do your best to remain grateful for everything you have. Let your partner know that you cherish having someone who loves you as much as you love them. Also, give thanks to the little things like hand-written letters or for showing concern for how your friends and family are doing.

Michele Baird

She is a dating expert who spends most of her time reviewing dating sites & providing relationship advice.